The Bundesliga traditionally starts with the champions taking on another top team at home on Friday night. But for the 53rd instalment of the competition, the bosses at Frankfurt HQ have come up with a radically different idea. They’re sending Hamburg to Munich instead.
It must be a practical joke of some sort. Or perhaps an ironic, self-effacing comment on Bayern’s over-bearing dominance: “Uncompetitive, shmuncompetitive. It’s not as if it’ll be double figures at the Allianz Arena”. Alternatively, the consultancy that was recently used to research the appeal of the Bundesliga brand might have advised that religious minorities getting eaten alive by wild beasts/Bavarians was still the most popular form of stadium entertainment. The visitors, believers in the messianic powers of Bruno Labbadia to deliver them from another season in relegation purgatory, blameless men and women whose only misfortune is to carry “the diamond [badge] in their hearts”, as the Nordic article of faith demands, have been cruelly cast as the hors d’oeuvre for the red monster.
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